diff --git a/packages/backend/src/SelfhostedModule.js b/packages/backend/src/SelfhostedModule.js
index de6bf0fd..490a6de0 100644
--- a/packages/backend/src/SelfhostedModule.js
+++ b/packages/backend/src/SelfhostedModule.js
@@ -6,6 +6,9 @@ class SelfhostedModule extends AdvancedBase {
 
         const DefaultUserService = require('./services/DefaultUserService');
         services.registerService('__default-user', DefaultUserService);
+
+        const ComplainAboutVersionsService = require('./services/ComplainAboutVersionsService');
+        services.registerService('complain-about-versions', ComplainAboutVersionsService);
     }
 }
 
diff --git a/packages/backend/src/services/ComplainAboutVersionsService.js b/packages/backend/src/services/ComplainAboutVersionsService.js
new file mode 100644
index 00000000..4a65ba49
--- /dev/null
+++ b/packages/backend/src/services/ComplainAboutVersionsService.js
@@ -0,0 +1,87 @@
+const { BaseService } = require("../../exports");
+const { surrounding_box } = require("../fun/dev-console-ui-utils");
+
+class ComplainAboutVersionsService extends BaseService {
+    static DESCRIPTION = `
+        This service doesn't mandate a specific version of node.js,
+        but it will complain (create a sticky notification in the
+        dev console) if you're using something that's past EOL.
+
+        This is mostly just for fun, because it feels cool when the
+        system calls people out for using old versions of node.
+        That said, maybe one day we'll come across some nuanced error
+        that only happens an a recently EOL'd node version.
+    `;
+
+    static MODULES = {
+        axios: require('axios'),
+    }
+
+    async _init () {
+        const eol_data = await this.get_eol_data_();
+
+        const [major] = process.versions.node.split('.');
+        const current_version_data = eol_data.find(
+            ({ cycle }) => cycle === major
+        );
+
+        if ( ! current_version_data ) {
+            this.log.warn(
+                `failed to check ${current_version} in the EOL database`
+            );
+            return;
+        }
+
+        const eol_date = new Date(current_version_data.eol);
+        const cur_date_obj = new Date();
+
+        if ( cur_date_obj < eol_date ) {
+            this.log.info('node.js version looks good');
+            return;
+        }
+
+        let timeago = (() => {
+            let years = cur_date_obj.getFullYear() - eol_date.getFullYear();
+            let months = cur_date_obj.getMonth() - eol_date.getMonth();
+            let days = cur_date_obj.getDate() - eol_date.getDate();
+            
+            let str = '';
+            while ( years > 0 ) {
+                years -= 1;
+                months += 12;
+            }
+            if ( months > 0 ) {
+                str += `at least ${months} month${months > 1 ? 's' : ''}`;
+            } else {
+                str += `a few days`;
+            }
+            return str;
+        })();
+
+        const widget_lines = [];
+        widget_lines.push(
+            `Node.js version ${major} is past EOL by ${timeago};`,
+            `Everything should work, but you should still upgrade.`,
+        );
+        surrounding_box('31;1', widget_lines);
+
+        const svc_devConsole = this.services.get('dev-console');
+        svc_devConsole.add_widget(() => widget_lines);
+    }
+
+    async get_eol_data_ () {
+        const require = this.require;
+        const axios = require('axios');
+        const url = 'https://endoflife.date/api/nodejs.json'
+        let data;
+        try {
+            ({ data } = await axios.get(url));
+            return data;
+        } catch (e) {
+            this.log.error(e);
+            return [];
+        }
+    }
+}
+
+module.exports = ComplainAboutVersionsService;